


Lulled by the song of the sea

by mofumanju



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Chiaki and Kanata are first years, I'm really sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide Attempt, it ends well i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7600474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mofumanju/pseuds/mofumanju
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will he be happy, if he leaves the world today? Will his parents miss him, will the people he knows remember him only as a sad child, so sad that he couldn’t be saved even by his beloved heroes showing off their absurd powers on tv?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lulled by the song of the sea

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I did it. Seriously. I just was swimming and then remembered that Kanata can't swim, and Chiaki was depressed during his first year at Yumenosaki.  
> At least it ends well? SORRY

Chiaki looks at the sea, and closes his eyes. He forces himself to smile to his last moments, but how could he, when the only reason to smile is the welcoming embrace of death at the end of the lane?   
He holds his breath, and opens his eyes again. There is the weight of the world on his shoulders, too heavy for a fifteen years old to bear. He’s tired of everything - he’s even tired of his pulsing desire to die. Will he be happy, if he leaves the world today? Will his parents miss him, will the people he knows remember him only as a sad child, so sad that he couldn’t be saved even by his beloved heroes showing off their absurd powers on tv?  
Should he care, at this point?  
He looks behind, the high walls of the school he chose to enroll to just a year before hiding a sun that slowly dies behind the building, behind the city. He smiles again, this time a bit more sincere, as he raises his hand and waves goodbye. He has waited enough; now, he must go.  
The warm water wets his shoes, as its welcome to a new world made of peace, made of silence, made of blank minds and rested hearts. Chiaki hopes his pain will drown with him, he hopes his wretched thoughts will stop haunting him as soon as he stops breathing. He almost feels sorry - for his parents, for his friends, and Kanata’s smile pops up on his mind just while he takes a few steps further, and his trousers are already soaked with water.  
He will miss him the most, he thinks, as his eyes starts to fill with tears he doesn’t want to let go.   
Superheroes don’t exist, neither exists someone who could persuade him to stay - why should he keep living anyway, when he can’t stop thinking about himself as a waste of oxygen? He took the first steps on the mud of darkness way too long ago not to desire to put an end to all this.   
And in a moment, the sea is embracing his shoulders, its voice sweet and alluring, the song of a mermaid he can’t wait to meet. He wonders if Death is as warm as the water of the sea. He finds out very soon that he doesn’t mind, when he holds his breath and goes underwater. His ears ring, blood rushing and heart drumming on his chest. He lets the air leave his lungs slowly, while he starts to swim, hoping that the sea will take him with it, will accept him as a new, welcomed son. He hears something in the distance, a voice who calls his name - just a trick of his mind, a pure, innocent, useless desire to keep living that doesn’t belong to him anymore.   
Bubbles of air brush his face while he empties his lungs, a funny sound that swallows that voice and brings it out of his head, out of the water, at least for a moment. But the voice persists, and when Chiaki realises who it belongs to, his heart starts to race even faster, panic that takes the place of his willing to die in an instant.   
He emerges, air painfully filling his lungs again, just to see a light blue head trying to approach him without any success, Kanata who leans a hand towards him and screams his name while he desperately tries to float. Kanata can’t swim. He confessed him, once while Chiaki was swimming in the pool of the school and he sat on its border, legs swinging in the clear water like a child.  
“Go back!” Chiaki shouts, his voice hoarse, his ears still ringing, still filled with the lullaby sung by the sea and broken by the attempts of his schoolmate not to surrender to the embrace of the water.   
“No!” it’s the only thing Chiaki hears, before he sees Kanata going down and, _oh, damn it._  
He swims as fast as he can, while he promises himself to scold that stupid boy as soon as they reach the ground again. He calls him, his voice broken, desperate. He doesn’t want to lose Kanata, he doesn’t want his life to hang over his head forever. And when he goes underwater again - not to kill himself this time, but to save a life, how ironic - he feels Kanata’s hands on his shoulders, and Chiaki feels safe.  
He wants to cry.  
They emerge that Kanata is laughing, the idiot, so heart-lighted that Chiaki doesn’t understand, and makes him want to punch the boy right in the face.  
“Are you an idiot or what?” he shouts, maybe a bit too loud, but how could he do otherwise, when the friend he loves the most put his own life at stake just for what? But Kanata doesn’t stop laughing, his voice a better sound than the alluring song of the sea.  
“I knew you wouldn’t let me drown,” he says, a voice so soothing, so cheerful that Chiaki really tries to hold back the tears - but this time he can’t.  
He just can’t.  
He cries, lulled by Kanata’s soft humming, lulled by the waves that gently accompany them to the shore, and sweetly die on the sand before returning to the water.  
“It’ll be okay,” Kanata whispers, while an hand lies on his wet hair and pets him, and his voice is so firm, so calm, that Chiaki doesn’t trust him yet, but he wants to try.  
He wants to believe him.


End file.
